the world is our ______.

2009-07-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

i started this thing with the pretense that i would update on a weekly basis...so much for that.

enough said.

2009-06-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

i can't get back to brain cells i've been erasin

2009-05-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

Rush...what the fuck are you even talking about? do they seriously pay you get pilled up and talk nonsense?

or maybe they pay you to get people like me pissed and post your name on the internet for saying cockheaded ideas.

i think you win.

repressed minority =

not

look how big texas and alaska are!!

physics conversations

2009-05-27T08:33:00.000-07:00

"you know what's crazy..we got rid of records because they get scratched and skip all the time. Then we went from records to 8-tracks, 8-tracks to cassettes, now we have cds that get just as damn scratched and skip as much as records!"

"speak for yourself. I'm all digital, bitch."

2009-04-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

"why does your car smell like a giant burrito?"
"because i like to eat while i drive. it's dangerous."

why do you hate america?

2009-04-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

my life is boring.
watch this:

burrrrr

2009-04-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

i never realized how much time i wasted dicking around on the internet until i became internetless.

a little update on what i've been doing the last couple of weeks...

spending more time with friends and family
thinking about life and what i desire from it a lot more
cutting back on drinking
studying!
and reading this:

this book is 800 pages of awesome.

and it's COLD outside....just sayin.

good day.

hey!

2009-04-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

i don't have internet or a computer right now.
it's awesome! i love my life!

Fred Thompson, you dick-muncher

2009-03-25T10:48:00.000-07:00

Since I had an exam today, and therefore haven’t been able to get my weekly fix for my political conversation addiction with Nathan on our WWW nights (best nights ever), I made the executive decision to take some time out of my day to talk shit on the internet about Fred Thompson.

Fred Thompson just joined the growing list of republicans—such as Ass-Fuck-Say-Anything-To-Piss-Off-The-General-Public Limbaugh--who have anti-endorsed President Obama and his policies to the point of wishing failure. Good ol’ Fred being the pansy he is linguistically tiptoed along the success/failure fence, and said earlier on CNN, “I want his policies that I believe take us in the wrong direction to fail.”

Two things to mention about what came out of his labia flap:

1. “I believe” has nothing to with the reality of the situation. If the policies Obama is implementing are “in the wrong direction” and not beneficial for the country, they will fail or succeed accordingly; Thompson’s belief is irrelevant.

2. In saying “I believe” he saves his ass either way. If he wanted to not pussy-foot around things he should have said “these policies will fail” and took some arguable stance instead of jumping on the GOP bandwagon.

This motherfucker even went on to say “If he takes us down the road of tripling our national debt in ten years and making us vulnerable to higher interest rates and higher inflation, and things of that nature, I want all those policies not to succeed.”

In his own defense, he was a Republican candidate in the primaries, which means he was probably prepping by raising money, conducting polls, and such, so he may be unaware of this fuck-all of a mess the last President handed to the American public and bailed the hell out back to Texas…you know the problem that the new administration is trying to fix. He may have even missed the fact that the overspending, liberal, tax crazy stimulus package passed by the Obama administration was less than the “necessary” Bush package.

(In case you’re wondering what “higher interest rates, tripling of the national debt, and things of that nature” look like, it’s something a little like this:)

It's real shitty for these guys to burn our fucking house down with our money and then complain about how the solution is handled. The state of our economy has been a long time coming, and these republican governors and senators who had control of the house and senate for years did nothing but exacerbate the situation with loosening regulations, allow rising health care costs, and act like nothing was wrong, should get off the God damned T.V. and get to the hill and try to help fix their fucking problem they've passed on to the tax payers.

sorry...I'm done.

not to be a dick or anything

2009-03-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

if there is one thing in this world that pisses me off it's people who wear aerobic outfits to go walking. WALKING. women are fucking NOTORIOUS for this, which is truly a lose/lose situation for me because not only do I want to punch these chicks in the face for being retarded, but there’s also a good chance they’re fairly hot and would like hit on them as I’m actually hitting on them. I see douche bags walking the campus perimeter in this shit all the time.

douche bag a.

when the hell, as Americans(fuck yeah), did we become so accustomed to laziness that we saw fit to deem an activity the majority of the poor world population considers a primary means of transportation so physically strenuous that we have to buy fancy outfits, most likely made in that 3rd world country, to participate...WALKING.

ugh!

< /rant >

happy st. patty's day, faggots.

2009-03-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

why i'm glad

2009-03-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

i voted for this guy

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/16/AIG.bonuses/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

this would have been unheard of 6 months ago.

oh summer where art thou?

2009-03-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

i used to dream about saving the world;
now i just dream about the holidays .
i used to write so many songs for my girl;
now all i think about is floating away.
i think i need a big vacation,
a big vacation out of this place.

sunny daze

2009-03-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

today=super productive

i added some nutrient to my blueberry cider for my yeast to indulge themselves with.

then spent about 3 hours making my russian imperial stout

finished(ish) product

then TENNIS (with game-enhancing headband)

if there was one thing i really needed right now, it was this spring break. i wish i could have made it to tally, but things didn't align in my favor this time.

beer time!!

superstitions in travel

2009-03-10T00:43:00.001-07:00

i miss this place a lot.

also, i'm in love with the air outside. it's been BEAUTIFUL the last few days. i've never considered myself one with seasonally oscillating emotions, but, lately, i've noticed a new found appreciation for being alive...i'm really in to it.

oh johnathan..how you make me laugh

2009-03-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

no jumper cabled

2009-03-04T00:25:00.000-08:00

so this thing

hit my PARKED car today and left a lovely little note...

if you can't read it, it says,
"I ['m a dumb fucking spoiled bitch and] bumped you when I [was talking on my iphone and] was parking [my awesome, payed off, lexis]. There is a slight dent. I don't know [or give a fuck] if I made it or not [since your piece of shit car and hood is a different color than the rest of the body]. Please call me if I did and I will turn it in on my [dad's] insurance

so-sorry,
[fake name]
[fake phone number]

[eat shit]"

dearest liver..

2009-02-28T23:11:00.000-08:00

sorry about this weekend.
but it was necessary.

p.s.

i'm really in to this cd right now.

Bruce Peninsula - A Mountain Is A Mouth

it's like if nick cave or the singer for murder by death sang for anathallo

lemme hold a dollah

2009-02-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

so i had a picture/poem thing published in some magazine. we had to do it for my creative writing class and i guess some hippy liked it enough to put ink to it.
anyways, it's about this picture.

if not to forget that from which we came

this is the sound:
three miles of cool coastal sand
dispersed by frothy waves, wandering,
pushing--
pulling--
grains like a god's tug-of war.

my feet bare, washed in battle, sank in to
tracing paths--
held tight--
and pulled again, taken
away under the young spring light.

there's a seagull's careless gibber, carried
against salt-soaked wind
floating like paper airplanes
above, their sirens ringing:

like a child's ear pressed against seashells.

Can someone please tell me..

2009-02-25T11:09:00.001-08:00

I H8 U CAPTCHA! WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU START USING BREST CANCER AWARENESS RIBBONS FOR CHARACTERS YOU ASSHOLE!!

Fuck you very much Mr. Sharpton

2009-02-19T20:41:00.000-08:00

Why the fuck is Al Sharpton gathering people to protest this cartoon?

First of all, President Obama didn't even write the Bill. He can't. It's kinda against the constitution. All he can do is influence and sign it.

Secondly, a chimpanzee is an APE, NOT a monkey.....and even if it was, Obama still didn't write the bill!

If the next four years consist of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson intentionally using race as a vehicle to piss people off so he can make a buck on every not-even-remotely-funny-cartoon he can twist in to a racial issue because we have a half black president who was raised by a white suburban family, I'm going to go fucking IRATE.

I voted for Obama, and I support him. But this is just rediculous.

When did American turn in to a bunch of fucking pussies?

wha chu talk bout cuba divin?

2009-02-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

Last night at work I was told by two teenage black girls that I "look like Justin Timberlake with longer hair." The only reason I even mentioned that the girls were black is because this isn't the first time I've been told that I look like a white celebrity that I in no way resemble by a black family--not too long ago I had another black family tell me I look like a white Usher. The best part is when the girls left they blew me kisses and said they'd be back to see me.

In all honestly, it really brightened up my day. This weekend kinda blew and that was about the best part....therefore I blog about it. Jesus Christ, is this really what my life has come to?

New Found Glory..

2009-02-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

Could you please release an album that sucks and doesn't make anticipate summers carefree times?....you're beginning depress me with your flawless writing technique...seriously.

Jesus Christ.

In other news, I'm not pregnant.

my thoughts exactly

2009-02-08T21:52:00.001-08:00

FAGHAT

2009-02-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

So in 10 days it will be 365 days since my last cigarette....I guess you could say it's been 355 days then...
At any rate, it's weird thinking of myself as an ex-smoker. I smoked for about 8 years, and now, when I see pictures of myself smoking--or hell even just holding a cigarette--I get an awkward feeling. It seems like I never did. I know my health would beg to differ, but my mind doesn't.

I really don't know why I'm writing this

In other news I would smack a baby for burrito right now.

i really need to stop listening to wu-tang

2009-01-28T13:10:00.001-08:00

this is the 3rd time i've went to get sushi this week.

afro samurai resurection started as well.

STOKED!

radical dihydroxylation, bra!

2009-01-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

Finally got my scholarship money in the mail (I love the smell of free green in my pocket), which means I'm buying good beer tonight!! Hell I may even order some ingredients to make to make some. It's been entirely too long since the last time I brewed. I honestly think the most satisfying moment of my life was the first time I got drunk off a homebrew and thought to myself "God damn...Jarrod, you did that." Given, it was actually the yeast eating the sugar, but I put them in a little happy environment and that encouraged and allowed them to get their fermentation on (I digress.).

The intention of this post was suppose to be about how stoked/not stoked I am about being back in the states. I really do miss Germany...not just because it's "Europe and everyone wants to go there"..I just really enjoyed the people and culture. I liked that the waitresses I encountered had free health care and we're paid a decent wadge on top of that and didn't rely entirely on tips. Or maybe it was more that I rided myself of all responsibility while I was there.

This semester has already proven itself to be a mother fucker.
At least my new jobs rule...I'm getting paid right now to type this and listen to my wu-tang pandora radio channel right now.

the boys are back in town

2009-01-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

Back in the states.

I had an eighteen hour lay-over in London and consequently one of the most uncomfortable three hours of sleep I have ever experienced.

It's weird being home...I went a month without working or having any sort of responsibility..
now I'm here and quickly forced to adjust.

BUT NIP/TUCK IS BACK ON!!

what place does this time close?

2009-01-02T20:45:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went round for round with some Russian guy....drinking a Ukraine beer that came in a 2 liter plastic bottle. He had home-field advantage.

The results:

...this seems to be a drunken habit (see previous post).

new years extrava-fucking-ganza

2009-01-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

this was probably the most interesting new years in a long time...i spent the night at a microbrewery here in kiel in between a italian couple and a german family.

no new years kiss. no company at my side.

but there was free beer brewed freshly downstairs.
and free german food.
which means a hell of a good time:

the night ended with me walking home at 4 a.m.
busting my knee trying to climb some big ass statue
and soon after drawing dicks and balls in the snow that sat on the windows of people's cars.

yeah...i'm damn near 25 and still find drawing dicks and balls on windshields amusing.
awesome.

this conversation is beginning, starting right now

2009-01-01T10:01:00.000-08:00

i've had this damn thing for nearly half a year now, and still haven't used it. however, i have been captured by the new year's spirit of fresh beginnings and the belief that somehow this one second holiday serves as an auxiliary of hope in the ability of people to change their behavior because of a passed year. that being said, i made the executive decision to tap in to this reservoir for the time being and make a post.

where i would like to see myself on 31.12.09:

continuing my straight a streak in school
living in a new city
resuming my vegeterian diet
getting started on my book
in a relationship
homebrewing more
but cutting back on my drinking
starting my research
exercising more
reading at least one new book a month

...i think that's good for now.

i have a shit ton of pictures from my trip to germany. i'll try to post them soon.
this will have to do until then:

remember all caps

2008-07-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

it's very humbling when you begin to see yourself for what you truly are.